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You are Here: Parachute History.com >> Humor >> NORM Elections

NORM Elections

National Organization of Ripcord Maldroits

Board of Directors Election

On this page you will find the names of the candidates for the Board of Directors of the N*O*R*M. This is YOUR opportunity to make your voice heard. This is YOUR chance to actively participate in the affairs of your organization. We, the hard working employees of YOUR organization urge you to vote. VOTE! VOTE!

PLEASE NOTE: All ballots must be received no later than 31 Dec. and postmarked no later than 25 Dec. The blank ballots will be mailed to the membership by the middle of January at the latest.

NORM RUSS MOTTLEY, JR.... Russ is an incumbent running for his third consecutive term. He served in the U.S. Army as a stockade officer and is a former FBI agent. Russ has also worked as a prison guard, probation officer, private investigator, security guard, undercover narcotics agent, and welfare investigator. Since accepting his present position, Mr. Mottley has had an intense interest in sport parachuting. A long time member of the N-0-R-M discipline and courts marshal committee, Russ is best known to the parachuting community as a regular contributor to PARAHOLIC magazine. His most recent article was 'Why We Need the Death Penalty in the BSRS.' Mr. Mottley resides in Washington, D.C. where he is employed as a consultant and lobbyist for the airline industry.
NORM DICK 'Hustler' PIERCE ... This well known sporting personality makes his home in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Acapulco, and Muscogee, Oklahoma. Because of his numerous trips, he feels that his heavy experience would be put to good use as a member of the Board of Directors. Dick holds a Masters Degree in Business Administration from Yale University. He also has a seat on the New York Stock Exchange. If elected, one of his first projects will be to institute a public relations campaign to dispel the 'Hell's Angels' image so often unjustly associated with sport parachuting.
NORM SENATOR EDSEL TRIMOTOR ... A popular figure in commercial aviation circles and also a long time personal friend and business associate of the executive director, the incumbent Senator Trimotor can look with pride on his many years of dedication and service to the sport. It was his backing and influence that allowed the executive director to push through the latest name change of the organization. This was accomplished in spite of the disloyal opposition of the majority of the members. The Senator's most noteworthy achievement is the vastly improved safety record of recent years. By outlawing all civilian parachuting in the United States, the number of fatalities has decreased nearly fifty percent. This is why he is justly proud of the great piece of legislation, which bears his name-the Trimotor Air Safety & Social Security Act of 1975.
NORM LT. GENERAL GEORGE ARMSTRONG FARKLE . . . 'Crazy G.' Farkle is the present Commanding Officer of the U.S.A.P.T. (the golden ones). He has served combat assignments in Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, and Detroit. General Farkle believes that there is an urgent need in the organization for discipline, conformity, and silence from the membership. General Farkle has over eight thousand parachute jumps to his credit. He even plans to make a free fall someday, when he can find the time.
NORM LEROY JIMMY GOODOLBOY... Leroy hails from Dounhum, Mississippi. He is married to the sweetest good old girl in town and has fourteen children. He also has a 1949 Ford and a dog named Blue. He works as a media consultant to the F.A.A. and on weekends, he moonlights as a gas station attendant.
NORM LYLE CAMERON . . . 'J.C.' as he is known affectionately by his friends, is an incumbent seeking re-election for the tenth time to the Board of Directors. A resident of the Sun City Retirement Haven For Elderly Folk & Funny Farm, Inc., Lyle is responsible for many improvements in the area of competition, judging, and scoring methods. He pioneered the technique of throwing the fichette from outside the pea gravel in order to save the judge from unnecessary fatigue and enemy jumpboots. For many years was editor and publisher of the now defunct SKY DIVER MAGAZINE. When the magazine was declared a subversive publication under provisions of the Air Safety & Social Security Act of 1975, Lyle became curator of the rare bird house of the San Diego Zoo, a position he holds to this day. Mister Cameron is presently acting as technical advisor on a motion picture based on his life story. The picture will be titled, "I's The Greatest," and the title role will be played by either John Wayne or Jim Brown.
NORM J. RODNEY RIPPOFF ... Mister Rippoff is one of the hardest working members of the organization. Although he serves on the Board of Directors, Mister Rippoff also finds time to work as a salaried employee of the N-0-R-M. He is an honorably discharged combat veteran. He served in the U.S. Marine Corp from January 1972 through February 1972. He holds a degree in accounting from the University of Sicily. In a long and highly successful business career, Mister Rippoff has held many interesting and varied positions. At one time he was the chief accountant of the Teamster's Pension Fund. He has sold everything from real estate in the Negrev desert to vegetable choppers on TV. Lately he has been working seven days a week assisting the executive director in the transfer of the NORM general funds to a much more secure numbered account in Switzerland.
NORM DOG..... A familiar face in sport parachuting circles, Dog started his jumping career in the mid-sixties. Although best known in the mid-west, he has paid his dues at various drop zones from Florida to California. He is a rigging and equipment expert and has been known to lift a leg on some of the finest rigs in the country. He is also the originator of the "Crossbow Barf." Dog feels that he is more qualified than most of the other candidates because of the fact that he has actually made a parachute jump.
Reprinted from Sky Diver May/June 1971
Permission granted by Lyle Cameron Jr.
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